im over you approving of alanna

im over you flaking on everything important to my friends.

im ver you being celabite(or however its spelled).

im over you being a fucking tampon who will never get laid.

im over you complaining about every little detail.

im over hearing about how im an alcoholic.

im over hearing about how i failed out.

im over it all.




you should be too.



its about to be new years. get the fuck over yourself and love everyone else. jesus. merry christmas. i guess.

in 1 month everything will be different.



i hope im ready.

i had a large story typed out and when i hit finished it all went away in some elaborate error message. Then i realized that what i learned sitting there watching people is to big for words. so i'll leave you with this...

i sat here starring at this screen for 30 minutes thinking how to word what i wanted to say. then i realized nothing i say would change anyones mind, so i wrote nothing at all.


this is so rediculous. i wish everyone could be as happy as she makes me. then they might get it.

this could go very very right. or very very wrong.

but in the end i will choose my friends over her.


they just dont know yet.



hell i dont know yet.




im sorry.

So i was in a funk today. im not sure if it was from the caffine abuse i put my body through last night or something else. Anyways, i was just kinda down. there was no real reason to it, but i felt like i was missing something or someone. You know the feeling, you have all the friends you could ever want, but all you really want to do is see someone from 2-3 years ago and just catch up.

well by some divine intervention my friend Stacey called me. this was the most awkward turn of events ive had in a night. she was exactly what i was talking about. We didn't really do much. in fact we just sat outside my house and just talked for a good while. i wrote in my xanga along time ago about her and shes the kinda girl that can just chill and be cool, you know like me. Its good to know that 2-3 years ago i was a decent enough person to want to remember 2 years later. There nothing anyone can say that makes you feel that way. im not saying shes the only one. When i started hanging out with lauren again after 2 years it was amazing. and i havn't seen fred in a good year, i kinda miss the kid.

if theres anything you can take from this is, go through your phone, find someone you havent talked to in a long time. give them a call, chances are they've probably been staring at your name in the phone for the past year as well. Be a good friend to those you know now, but never forget where you came from and who you've met along the way.

God is love,
BTown.