sunday. bloody sunday.

so i had to wake up bright and early for a pointless 8 am meeting. im pretty much ready to go off on scott (the tampon) because he is so god damn annoying. i know i can easily make him quit by pushing all sorts of buttons he has. HOWEVER, i do not for the sake of me being a better person. So what happens when im nice and try to be cool? he thinks he can walk all over me. Lets get a few things straight here.

1) everyone loves me.
2)no one loves you and all want you gone.
3) i've worked there under a month and make more than you after 7 months.
4)if i felt like it i could make you cry. probably in under 7 sentences.

on those notes, you most certainly should not be the one pressing MY buttons and telling me how i should be doing my job. Or attempting to single me out at a meeting. Bitch please I've dealt with far worse people in this world than some tech-geek pedophile whose only sexual experience in life will be with a 7 year old boy. You stay out of my life and i will damn well stay far away from yours.

on a completely unrelated note. My two girls are fucking killin krys' girl in rock 0 luvz. Its ok im sure in the end it will be pretty even, but god im good. and Daisey (with out the lips) is so smoking hot. mmmmmmmmmm. maybe smaller boobs too.

anyways. school will probably start to become more of a bitch now that the first two week "you can miss class without any reprocussions" period is officially over. i have my first couple quizes and major grades this week so later social life. later computer. later cute girl. brandon the hermit is in full effect.

waitin on friday,
BTown.

90's teen date movies. my only vice (outside of drinks of the alcoholic ilk.) its kinda just what i've been wishing for all my life. That i could go up to the person i truly loved, tell them exactly how i feel and at that very moment they'd realize that the one person they've been looking for all this time was right under their nose and they loved me in return. i really don't even know if thats close to how i wanted it to sound but you know the feeling. like everything just works out so perfect for everyone, except the brooding jock football star.

in my perfect world thats how everything would be. or maybe filled withchoreographic dance numbers but thats for another time and place.

sadly this world is run by other less savory things that truth and romance. so with that i leave you to your own devices. tell that someone how you really feel. if you don't you may be walking away from something great that you've both wanted....or you just crash and burn and all your dreams go up in smoke, but this is a happy post, so thats not allowed to happen.

i love you,
brandon.

today has just been alot of self inflicted stress about topics that probably will never come to fruition.

i hope they don't atleast. im not mature enough to handle them.

on a lighter note, im in love with krystle or CCA in general for providing me and alanna one fucking spectacular night. We got free redonkulous seats to the foo fighters concert. we really went to go see jimmy eat world cause we liked them more. they played a small 45 min to an hour set. then came the foo fighters and they fucking blew all my expactations out of the water. They killed it times a million and if you ever get the chance go see them live, even if you're not a fan. Dave grohl is probably one of the coolest/funniest/ most bad ass people on this planet.

remember when i said i wasn't worried. well i lied. i haven't talked to alanna in about 4 days and the last conversation we had was me bitching about how i was going to be late for class and how im leaving her to ride the bus instead of wait around. a call or text or anything at this point because this is taking me back to where i really don't want to be. im losing it....very slowly, but still.

i hung out with lauren and rach today which took my mind off it for most of the day. i was only really planning on lunch, but H decided to hijack me for the entire day. not that im pissed or anything cause it was a great time. but atleast let me know. they are cool. lauren should stop getting pissed at every word i say though :(

thats really all my martin luther king day entailed.


and if you were wondering why i decided to do this here is a very VERY good example of how much things change in 2 years. this post was made Jan. 20 2006.

"so yeah i talked to lauren. something i never thought id do.

nothing really came out of it. we're not friends, but were no longer enemies or whatever. there are no more lines to be drawn. even though i really wouldnt be friends with any her new friends.

and apparently chris went and made up with her while i wasnt there. Good job having my back there chris. some friend."

keepin it strong,
Brizzle.

so i may as well start sundays post now since i was woken up at 4 by Alanna. I guess she was drinking or something and decided to call me to talk or invite me over. yeah at 4 am. ofcourse during this shes telling some guy to get out of her bed cause she wants to go to bed and some douche ass won't move. Somehow however im at ease with this. im truly not freaking out at all because im pretty sure i trust that nothing is going to happen. its really a weird feeling.

i think the reason i can't sleep is based more on the fact that i slept pretty much all of Saturday rather than the fact that im nervous cause i think she's cheating on me. i don't know what she wants to talk about though, so i guess i have something to be nervous about? i don't know, i find that i overly stress about to much and i really shouldn't, so....im not.

she hasn't answered all day. it kinda sucks but im moving on cause other things in the day sucked alot more.

the packers lost. it was a terrible game and they didn't even try. Manning ripped apart an all pro secondary and im deeply disappointed in the Pack. Maybe next year? it really doesn't matter packers til the end.

However, im totally owning face in fantasy Rock of love 2. My girl daisy is taking me to the end. and since krys' girl got the boot i got to pick up another girl to boost my roster. I picked up the bitchy one cause they always go far. Krys picked up a solid player this time so we'll see come later in the show how it all pans out. it should be close....not.

more people should join in. it's fun and mildly addicting.

writer boi,
Brand.

since the other three are to homogay to write about it I'll just go ahead and state that Friday was ridiculously coooool. there was lots of fun stuff that happened but since i was no where near a computer all day i wont really write about it since its now sat.

however, saturday has brought nothing but a hangover and waking in a bed that is about 4 feet off the ground. yeah, im not exaggerating at all. there are 4 mattresses piled up on my bed and i have no earthly clue how they got there. nor was i in any position to comprehend such amazing feats last night.


anyways, sorry for the brevity but sunday will r00l too so i guess i needed a chill day. Packers are going to the superbowl and my girl is going to stomp krystles girl tomorrow. thats really all, i guess ill have to wait 24 hours before i can write about the river of tears coming from krystles eyes as her girl goes a packin'



ever writing,
BTown.

im reserved for lauren and krystle on friday.

so i opened today. i was nevous because it was my first time, but i got over it. The girl who just got bumped to assistant manager is about to get bumped again to store manager and she told me that id be next in line for assistant...thats like 9 or 10$ an hour for doing pretty much the same shit...huyeah fgtz.

anyways. alaana should be done soon and im going to try and go over there for once. i got her some movies from my cart so maybe we can watch them while i fall asleep.

i think i found a decent car too. we'll see cause my car is going down the tuuuube fast.

sorry for the lack of post.


truely,
wodke.

today. nothing really out of the ordinary.

i guess Alanna is like me in that we strongly fear walking into class late. on that note we both missed our first class and went to go get books and what not. she's ridiculously awesome and that all i really have to say on that.

my civ class was fun and i actually took legit notes, for once in my life. True, they were in glittery orange, but nonetheless they were true notes anyone could b e proud of. This still doesn't change the fact that im the only normal looking person in the class. you know, as i right with a fag pen -_-.

then Lauren threw a curve ball and said she was doing all this other stuff and i panicked and went to go move my car for some reason. while riding the bus back to my car i realized that i had nothing to do after school and there was no pressing need to get my car or move it at all. so i took a round trip on the bus. it was fun. i guess. i felt like a creeper or something but who cares.

my geog class that i skipped on Monday i soon regretted. It was the teacher i had at NL but not the same class. This is more places on a map oriented. you know, the one thing in life i truly fucking rule at. all he did was play with country names and made jokes about countries, all the while making sure no one from that country was actually present in the room. what a bastard.

anyways, me and Lauren to hang out and she makes my mom a wicked sick box, i still have no idea what im all going to put in it but i have a DND sign to go along with my dad's sex book, and a little wooden birthday moose to match my dad's b-day rock. its pretty obv we make some killer presents...so um...be our friend and have a birthday and you'll love us forever.

that and i made Lauren think i wanted to get high the whole time, she got wicked excited at first but by 9 or so i think she caught on that i really have no intention of smoking pot. however if i did, it would be a gigantic party and there would be more weed than you could ever imagine. with that being said, good luck to all who try.

anyways, i open at work for the first time ever tomorrow. wish me luck and hope i don't end up in jail for breaking in,

forever yours,
BJw.

i guess i forgot to mention yesterday that my car is now starting to die to frequently for me to even function. so the campaign trail for Wodke/Honda '08 moves ever closer to the forefront of hotbutton issues in this household of debate.

anyways, since you now have previous history i was going to class today when about halfway there my car dies. i pull off and end up in a medical complex. how nice, maybe they can give me a labodomy to erase my memories of how such an amazing night just blew up in my face along with my engine. i could think of nothing better in this world than watch my stolen movies in the comfort of alanna's bed and arms. but no, overheating and being dragged back home is what happened.

pretty sweet that today just happened to be my mom's birthday. good thing my family loves lauren and she usually makes them all boxes on thier birthday so i could play my lack of a gift off on the fact that it was in denton and i was going to stay the night at alaan'a and celebrate tomorrow. they bought it too, so go me i guess. im still a horrible son.

well seeing as my presence was inevitable we all went out to big bucks. me and dad sample the local flavor. they even have a beer that is 12.4% alcohol by volume. it tasted like shit,but seriously...thats like wine mang. the food was as filling as the conversation. my family is never bored with each other. usually the conversation starts out light and turns out into me and my brother spilling out all the bad things we've ever done sinisterly tied into clever jokes and stories.

i guess our waitress knew us. She had lived down the street for some number of years but i had never seen her before. She recognized my brother, figures. She was kinda cute to so i attempted to build up my brother. He wasn't buying it. Can't blame a guy for trying though, one day i'll find him a mate. yeah i said it. mate.

anyways, im fucking stuffed and have to learn tomorrow. it'll be a good day though since i dont have work. im going to go watch more planet earth and fall asleep early. you know, like a responsible adult.

love forever,
brandon.

for those of you smarties who can read, resolution day would be today. you know, in line with the first day of school and all. i guess I'll break down my entire day. WARNING THIS POST WILL BE LONG AS FUCK.

anyways. since Alanna had a parking pass we both decided to take her car to school. my first class was in the GAB so she kindly drops me off. 9 AM not to early, but certainly not late. Its math, probably not my brightest plan ever, buy regardless i guess the teacher was supposed to be some asian man with the last name lee or lei or something along those lines. HOWEVER, our class ended up with some bad ass possible 30 year old bald guy with a beard. from what i gather hes pretty legit, between the constant text messages i gathered that the class would be alright and with enough studying i could probably pull and A or B. yay me i guess.

Anyways, since im not to bright all my classes don't line up, so i have an hour break till 11 when my class starts in Wooten. However, Alanna's class at 10 was in Wooten so i go hang out with her and do that for 10 min till she goes in class. half way through she sends me a text like do you know so and so? and of all fucking people in the world its Mitchel crafton. I could never stand this kid. Probably will never stand this kid, and really don't plan too...and what does Alanna say "he's really nice" yeah....for a fucking creeper. i don't want hat kids grubby hands anywhere near her. but yeah...so kill me on that one. i got some solid reading done out of it though. so CATCH 22 you will be finished soon.

like i was saying before. i had a class at 11 so Alanna goes and does her thing and i walk up 3 stories to my civ class. sweeeeeeeet. oh wait no, exact opposite. if you can picture a star wars convention with out all the costumes..yeah that was pretty much everyone in this class. the class seems easy, with only 6 test total for grades. However, my social obligation to any of these people is 0. and i will be epicly bored all semester.

after that me and Lauren were going to hang out and i guess get something to eat and on the way to the hot dog stand meeting place i run into Alanna, so its the 3 of us. for my part id guess it was a little awkward for the both of them, but not so much for me. we got food and H went to pay her meter and met up with us later. i think they warmed up to each other, or so i hope...i left them alone for like 30 seconds and conversation didn't die. i was pretty happy about the entire thing and was glad it went as well as it did.

anyways...my next class isnt till 3. so i have good 3 hours to kill. so what do i do???? of course i go to Alanna's logic class. good guess reader. this class was fun as we kept trying to figure out amongst which one of the 8000000 TA's was the actual teacher, until a mid 40's guy with the obvious philosopher haircut and facial hair walked through the door. problem solved, now time to figure out which of the TA's he was boning. i'll save that for another time.

since i have work at 5 i skip my class (which im almost certain i took at North lake already).

work was alright, i made 10 on the side and 3 free movies. my car almost died on the way there so this was my way of saying farewell to that stupid cart and exacting my revenge on the company who put me tharrrrrrr.

thats my day. it was amazing beyond belief and i can't wait to see what the semester brings.


love always,
brandon.

since i didnt really have a special new years resolution i decided a day or two before that i would write here everyday. you know, to document my thoughts, emotions, and feelings. not so much for the here and now, but in a year or two be able to look back and compare the two brandon's.

however, seeing as i have royally failed thus far. i've decided i would start when school started. Seeing as thats pretty much when the rest of my life begins. Its a wierd feeling, but i feel like everything in my life is right for once. I'm looking forward to learning, all the people i met at orientation are phenominal, and i have a girl who is second to none (most of the time.lolz) i love my job and the people i meet.

i feel like this is place i want to be. not denton so much. just this state of mind. i have everything figured out and no pressing issues that need resolved. I think i've finally resolved all problems i brought with me coming out of A&M.

now if only i had a new car and a new place. yeah, id probably pee my pants. i don't think i could handle that much happiness.

anyways. here's to the start of my new life...in 3 days. til then i'll do what i want bitches. <3

god is love,
brandon.

thursday was dumb. alcohol is gay. and i love muh best fwiends.


the end.

i think ive figured it all out. my one true enemy is large amounts of free time. granted they are nice when needed. but in forced situations of isolation i crumble completely into an emotional wreck of complete unhappiness.

given seven or eight hours to think, you can come up with alot of scenarios for whats going on in the outside world.


MORE ON THIS TOMORROW GOING TO LAUREN's.

i hate how im hardwired not to trust anyone. Until you can prove to me that what you say is what you will do i will never trust you. i hate that because i feel like crap when it happens. i just have a hard time believing anyone if they say this and this, and then with a little alcohol or other guy its completely different. I have feelings too.

i hate how its all coming back to me.

dont take this the wrong way, because i love my friends. i love alanna. i love my job. and i love school. maybe its just that time of the month???? no, that obviously can't be it.

if i knew why i was like this i would change it. i just want to find a girl who is 100% percent all about brandon. because apparently i can't deal with someone whos only 99%. and its killing me.


this post is a mess. i appologize. take from it what you will. i just felt like writing. i dont even know why.